Balance for Sustainability

Adam Giebner

Balance for sustainability

It is amazing how far we can go with a lack of sleep.

Reflecting on my first three years of teaching, I’m surprised I made it this far with how I chose to conduct (pun intended) myself. I said yes to everything because I had a chip on my shoulder and felt I had to prove something. Leaving my home at 7 am and not returning until 14 hours later was fast-tracking myself to burnout and wanting to take an office job as far away from music and students as possible.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. We feel like the concert season (or musical season, church season, etc.) consumes every facet of our lives. We get home later than we want, we see our friends and family less, and our priorities shift from taking care of ourselves to surviving until the final chord of our project. During these seasons, our bodies turn to “low-power mode” and the only thing we have energy for is scrolling through social media before bed to try and calm our brains… before we do it all over again the next day. Our moods worsen. The energy we lack from overworking is taken out on our students, colleagues, and yes, even those closest to us. We become husks of human beings whose sole focus is on the process and the finished product.

Does this type of conductor serve our singers? Does the overworked, workaholic, stressed, tired director really add to the experience of our singers in our day jobs? And even if the answer is yes, does that tired director have a meaningful work/life balance? Is it sustainable?

This article isn’t meant to preach “Work less! Go on more walks! Hydrate! Get better sleep!!!” (though you should). This is just a reminder that you can still be great at your job and have time to recharge away from work.

This is an example of the pot calling the kettle black. I’m still working on this thing called “balance.” I remember telling my therapist when I first started teaching that “balance” was my least favorite word. Every time I heard the word it made my skin crawl. Why? I equated balance to taking away from valuable work time, which meant I would be a worse teacher for my singers.

I know now that isn’t true. I know that my singers benefit from a well-rested (well caffeinated) instructor. Why? Because a balanced, better regulated, and well rested conductor is more conducive to energetic and positive rehearsals.

As I mentioned earlier, I am in no way, shape, or form proficient at work/life balance. I answer emails when I shouldn’t and take on more than my load allows…but I’ve gotten better. Below I have a list of things that have worked for me and would encourage you to try. Because while I am proficient in some of these, I’m still working on the rest.

1. Leave when your contract time is up. It’s so tempting to catch up on those emails, bemoan with your colleagues, or take on an extra lesson at the end of the day. But remember: you aren’t being paid overtime (usually). Having the discipline to walk away gives you a fighting chance to enjoy things outside of work, and the people outside of work too. Or better yet, going out to happy hours with your colleagues as soon as the dial hits 3:00!
2.  Learn to say “no.” I came to work from a mindset of, “If you don’t say yes to every opportunity, you’re doing your career a disservice.” There are seasons in life where you should put yourself out there and try all the new things (namely in college when you have the energy). But learning to say no to things that would not advance your personal wellbeing by sucking up your time, or joy, just isn’t worth it. By doing this, you’ll learn how to say yes to things that bring you joy and can advance your career in the ways you want it to.
3. Turn off email notifications. Better yet, delete your work email off your phone! This one is the hardest for me. The catastrophizing part of my brain tells me that if I delete my work email off my phone I’ll miss something pressing, or the world will explode, or I’ll miss the opportunity to sing with Celine Dion! (None of these has happened yet.) I have not made the leap into deleting my work email off my phone, but the best first step is turning off notifications. If that little “ding” or vibration goes off, we will want to check it right away. It gives it a more “out of sight, out of mind” feeling and helps my ADHD stay present in the moment outside of work.
4. You have sick days. Use them. It’s state law: mental illness qualifies the same as physical illness. There is something to be said about powering through when you have a cold or a case of the S.A.Ds (seasonal affective disorder), but if you feel like you’re on the verge of shutting down, mentally or physically, take the day that you’ve earned and take care of yourself. You and your singers will benefit from you recharging and returning as the best version of yourself.
5. Get off your phone before bed. When we are on our phones before bed, the brain’s function turns into “processing” rather than “relaxing.” I have found that reading is the much better alternative for my brain to relax before going into snooze land. And if you MUST be on your phone before bed make sure your brightness is down, find ways to reduce the blue-light, and set a timer to cut yourself off from “doom-scrolling.”
6. Watch what you put in your body. I love Kinder Bueno bars. And if you know students, sometimes they do random acts of kindness like bring you an entire bag…and then that becomes your lunch for a week and you wonder why you have a headache by 2 pm most days and get terrible sleep. This year my dear wife started to encourage me to bring carrots and grapes in my lunch box…and suddenly I had more energy by the time 6th hour rolled around (which is usually my nap time during the summer). Your body needs food to function, but the type of food you put in relates to the quality of energy you get. Also, drink water. You’ll have to go to the bathroom more often but THAT’S OKAY!
7. Do some sort of physical activity every day. Those that know me know how much I resemble Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson. How did I get here? How did I become such a marvel of a physical specimen? Going on a walk every single day…duh! Joking aside (I more resemble Hugh Jackman in physique), doing some sort of physical activity a day will reduce stress, give you some natural endorphins, and get you out of the house! Pro tip: some districts will pay in part, or full, gym memberships so you can be active in those winter months as well!
8. Work on being present. Hello, my name is Adam Giebner and I have severe work-related anxiety. My wife and colleagues know this about me. It is so bad that when I’m not at work or actively working, I am thinking about work and how I should be working. What has helped me conquer this? Present family/friends time (game nights, going to local events), finding a hobby (D&D, painting, bird watching), or doing mindfulness exercises.

There are hundreds of articles similar to this, but my hope is that you find something from this list that you can latch on to and start to take better care of yourself. Balance is a process. I’ve just started my journey but incorporating some of these ideas every day makes my life as a conductor/teacher way more sustainable.